*deee de de de de deee de de deee de de deee de de de de*

“Heinrich, Heinrich! Incoming message from ze vestern front!”

*kunk!*
“You vill address me by my proper name and rank!”

*deee de de de de deee de de deee de de deee de de de de*

“Certainly, certainly, Gruppenführer Rainbowschnitzel.”

“That is better. Now tell me vhy you are in such a furor.”

*deee de de de de deee de de deee de de deee de de de de*

“This message—it repeats over and over. It’s encoded, but I it believe it says ‘On a dais, on a dais. On a dais, on a dais. On a dais, on a dais.’ That part repeats several times. Then comes a request for us to stone a man who is to be found upon the dais.”

*karunk!*

“You fool! That is—VESTERN CULTURE! Cease transmissions at vonce!”

“What…what is happening Gruppenführer?”

“Ze are coming. Ha ha! Ze turtles are finally coming for us. Oh, he varned them! From prison, he varned them about ze threat! And twenty-five years ago as well! And now, now ze come for us? Ha! Ve are too strong now! Now that ve have culled the inferior zebra blood from our nation, so ve vill do to ze entire pet store!”

“But…but…”

“Oh, yes, he vill show them. He vill show them that ve are strong! Proud! And not zebras!”

“But, ze turtles speak of—”

*kunk!”

“I vill not stand for such insolence! Our supreme commander is not a filthy zebra!”

“No, no, of course not. Forgive me, Sir. Not a zebra”

“Not! A! Zebra! Indeed!”

And, thus began a momentous struggle for the fate of the world. On one side freedom, and, on the other, ponies. May God help us all.

“Why, hello, Geoffrey. Good morning isn’t it?”

“Why, yes, Montgomery. So it is, so it is. However, I am feeling a might bit peckish.”

“Well, now, we can’t be having that, can we? How about we go out for a smidgen of brains?”

“That would be lovely, wouldn’t it? Oh, and capitalism. Let’s get some capitalism, as well.”

“Now, now, Geoffrey, we have plenty of capitalism. How ‘bout we share a bit with our neighbors?”

“Jolly good, jolly good, quite spiffing indeed.”

*klink, klink, KRISH!*

And, thus, freed from their glassy prison, two turtles of a most unusual sort set forth into the world. Their journey is filled with hope. Their journey is one of good will. Their journey is fueled by brains. For they are:

ZOMBIE TURTLES!