Yesterday's Winning Vote:
Option 2 – Scream out for help.

"Somebody!" you shout. "I need some help in here!"

At the sound of your voice, the torso stops following its arc and moves toward your table, leaving elliptical gouges in the floor. You squeeze up against the wall, glancing out the window and wondering how much time you have left.

"Hel-" you start to say before the torso whips against a leg of the table. The sight of wood chips flying dissuades you from saying anything further. As the table grows steadily more unstable, you contemplate leaping off the table and making a break for the door. Fearing it's your only chance, you tense your legs--

"Hello, mister. Want to go to the park?"

--and leap straight back into the wall, startled by the sudden appearance of a four-year-old girl in a sundress. The girl plays with the umbrella in her hand, poking at the floor.

"I said 'Want to go to the park?'"

The torso spins away from the table, whirling in awkward arcs towards the girl.

"Be quiet, girl," you whisper. "You have to be quiet."

"Lets go to the park!" she shouts.

The torso rolls faster.

"Aaaaaah!" you scream, trying to attract the attention of the torso. As it becomes clear that your shouts are accomplishing nothing, you stumble off the table and rush towards the girl.

Brandishing the umbrella, the girl stomps her feet. "I WANT TO GO TO THE PARK!" She continues screaming as the torso spins within a foot of her. Moments before being bowled over, the girl lifts the umbrella up into the air and slams it into the torso, piercing straight through its chest and pinning it to the floor. The torso twitches briefly in bloody spurts before falling silent.

The girl smiles widely at you. "Can we go to the park now?"