Winning Vote:
Option 2 – Choose the small door.

Grudgingly, you step up to the church with the stranger one step behind you. As both doors look like equally poor choices, you decide to go with the traditionally sage advice “Good Christians take the side door” and place your hand upon the small door's knob. With the two figure's scythes keeping the stranger right up against you, you turn the knob and pull.

A wave of darkness spills out and pulls you inside, the door slamming shut behind you before the stranger can follow. Nothing is visible for a moment until a glowing, twenty-one inch diagonal rectangle appears, and a scream is ripped from your lips.

"I'm Brian Williams, and this is NBC Nightly News."

With a click, the glow shrinks to a point and disappears. “Sorry 'bout that,” an overweight man with a New York accent grunts. “I'm on my break now, so here's the short version: two doors, good one, bad one, don't choose wrong.” He gestures vaguely behind himself at two doors illuminated by a lonely, flickering light bulb hanging from the ceiling. “And, you're allowed to ask a question, but I'm too damn lazy to answer it.”